So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
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It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
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He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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