You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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