Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.