There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
