I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
