Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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