I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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