Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
