I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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