There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
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He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
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If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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