i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
