Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
