she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
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Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
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I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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