The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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