They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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