he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
