Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
