If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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