Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with. http://tfl.nu/nobk
  Replies (8) Good night (2826) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce http://tfl.nu/rmcp
  Replies (22) Good night (852) Bad night (3080)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday." http://tfl.nu/kc3i
  Replies (31) Good night (5224) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out http://tfl.nu/qemu
  Replies (18) Good night (7020) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day. http://tfl.nu/y889
  Replies (7) Good night (813) Bad night (1704)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed" (414): I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea http://tfl.nu/3884
  Replies (19) Good night (1140) Bad night (2300)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have a broken liver

  (1-575): View more from New Mexico

  I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): I have a broken liver (1-575): I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us. http://tfl.nu/0hjr
  Replies (2) Good night (1210) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night? http://tfl.nu/328v
  Replies (9) Good night (2553) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong http://tfl.nu/hvr0
  Replies (5) Good night (1099) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3 http://tfl.nu/ef92
  Replies (5) Good night (702) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous http://tfl.nu/uqnx
  Replies (3) Good night (456) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that? http://tfl.nu/z7it
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick. http://tfl.nu/xvkz
  Replies (2) Good night (775) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work? http://tfl.nu/q0sm
  Replies (7) Good night (497) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face? http://tfl.nu/ela9
  Replies (5) Good night (227) Bad night (642)

Randomize