Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.

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  (281): 3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals. http://tfl.nu/21ij
  Replies (12) Good night (2843) Bad night (523)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic

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  (480): so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic http://tfl.nu/3cem
  Replies (94) Good night (8945) Bad night (2150)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same

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  (914): i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same http://tfl.nu/tcqj
  Replies (39) Good night (1116) Bad night (5569)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.

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  (978): Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either. http://tfl.nu/z8zq
  Replies (25) Good night (1717) Bad night (3415)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.

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  (703): Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge. http://tfl.nu/8cnn
  Replies (4) Good night (3003) Bad night (866)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.

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  (603): Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No. http://tfl.nu/243w
  Replies (15) Good night (2287) Bad night (952)
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  (310): View more from California

  It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots

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  (310): It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots http://tfl.nu/44j2
  Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (1627)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.

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  (541): Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk. http://tfl.nu/effc
  Replies (6) Good night (1068) Bad night (622)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people

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  (406): I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people http://tfl.nu/t3r3
  Replies (7) Good night (953) Bad night (493)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.

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  (215): It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life. http://tfl.nu/9g4v
  Replies (2) Good night (377) Bad night (632)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?

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  (678): Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella? http://tfl.nu/jjvm
  Replies (7) Good night (1446) Bad night (355)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Boobs are out for the taking

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  (404): Boobs are out for the taking http://tfl.nu/yo2g
  Replies (3) Good night (760) Bad night (271)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?

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  (603): Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people? http://tfl.nu/67j9
  Replies (13) Good night (424) Bad night (850)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  All is fair in love and war and toga parties

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  (404): All is fair in love and war and toga parties http://tfl.nu/gkur
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (243)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"

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  (847): You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL" http://tfl.nu/xuia
  Replies (0) Good night (256) Bad night (316)

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