You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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