As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.