party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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