The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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