legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
