do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
