Pregnant stripper...not hot.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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