i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
