Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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