i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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