Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
