I feel great
I just peed on a car
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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