piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
