yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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