Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
