My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
