Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just want to make out with him forever
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
we're so committed to being not committed
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
