This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
