sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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