As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
