last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
