piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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