He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
