Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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