READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
