please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
