My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Sext me about skeletons
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
