brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
