I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
