You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
