I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize