just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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