Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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