You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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