i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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