physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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