So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
