She announced her abortion via fbk
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
