She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
