Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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