It's like God shit irony all over that family
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
