In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
