after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
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A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
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This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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