So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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