Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
